How to Win Friends and Influence Nations (4/17/03)

by Dean Hartwell

After the attacks of September 11, 2001, the United States received the sympathies and good will of almost every nation in the world.  Now, after the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, demonstrations go on around the world expressing anti-United States sentiment.

What accounts for this massive shift in popularity?

A book written many years ago may shed light upon this question.  Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People gives advice to people on achieving this goal that applies to President Bush.

Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

For the past several months, Bush has blistered Saddam Hussein in speeches, calling for a "regime change."  Recently, he and some of his advisors have turned the derogatory comments on Syria.

Instead of criticizing others, Bush should have used a Carnegie tactic, which is to reward good behavior.  Carnegie quotes Harvard professor William James as saying that "everyone likes a compliment."  Would it have been hard for Bush to commend Hussein for allowing inspectors in last fall?

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Bush brought the argument as to whether or not to use force directly to Congress last October.  Many members of Congress believed their hands were tied between their desire to vote against the use of force resolution and their desire not to appear weak on defense just before Election Day.

The president could have taken some advice from Abraham Lincoln, who said, "a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall."  By postponing the vote, Bush may have risked losing some support, but would have gained respect and popularity within Congress and the rest of the world.

Try honestly to see things from another person's point of view.

Obviously, France, Russia, Germany and others did not see eye-to-eye with the Bush Administration over the latter's decision to invade Iraq.  Seeing that little could be done to persuade these nations, Bush could have said publicly that he respected their point of view even though he could not agree with it.

By showing his frustration over the refusal of other nations to join the war, Bush hurt his chances at mending rifts with them.  What's more, he came across to the rest of the world like a bully, the kind of image that inspires terrorism against our nation.

Our nation has much to learn in the way it presents itself to the rest of the world.  It's time we lost the gall to condemn, and gained the honey to commend.  That way we can start to make friends.

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