Question Time for President Bush (6/20/03)

by Dean Hartwell

In England, members of Parliament gather every Wednesday to ask their prime minister questions about current events and government policies.  In "Question Time," they get an opportunity to get information straight from the leader's mouth without any aide to save him from difficult interrogatories.

On a recent Wednesday, one member of Parliament pestered Prime Minister Tony Blair with so many questions on the euro exchange rate that a frustrated Blair struggled to change the subject.
     
What if Congress held a Question Time for President Bush?
   
With television cameras rolling in a chamber full of Senators and Representatives, President Bush takes his seat in the House of Representatives where the Speaker ordinarily sits.  The President calls on House Majority Leader Tom DeLay.
   
Representative DeLay (R-TX): "That was a quick war, wasn't it, Mr. President?"
 
President Bush: "Yes.  Iraq misunderestimated us.  Senator Frist?"

Senator Frist (R-TN): "The latest polls show your popularity rating as high.  What do you think accounts for that?"
 
Bush: "My message resignates among the public."
 
Representative Pelosi (D-CA): "Enough of this mutual admiration society.  Mr. President, level with us - how can the United States afford your tax cuts when we are 6.6 trillion dollars in debt and we have a deficit of $200 billion?"
 
Bush: "That's fuzzy math."
 
Pelosi: "What will you tell one of those children you will leave behind if you keep cutting taxes!"
 
Bush: "Listen, Nancy.  Let me put it to you this way - when we teach a child to read, he or her can pass a literacy test."
 
Senator Kerry (D-MA): "Mr. President, your lack of candor about the economy concerns me and I hope the people at home take note of that.  But something else is even more pressing - did you or your advisors deliberately misstate the data on Iraqi weapons of mass destruction before the war?"
 
Bush: "I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions.  I can't answer your question."
 
Speaker Hastert (R-IL): "Mr. President, Saddam Hussein had to be stopped, didn't he?"
 
Bush: "Yes, he was an evildoer."

Representative Kucinich (D-OH): "The world is full of evil leaders. That's no reason to mislead us, Mr. President. And if you did so intentionally, I will go right to the House Judiciary Committee and start impeachment proceedings myself!"

Representative Hyde (IL): "I serve on that committee!  Don't worry about impeachment, Mr. President - it is obvious you did not lie about sex.  But out of curiosity, did you lie about the weapons of mass..."

Vice-President Cheney: "Time is up!  I need to get back to my undisclosed hiding place!"

Bush: "Thanks, everybody.  Gee, if this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier...just as long as I am the dictator."

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